December 18, 2019

Midnight feeding

Your cry startles me
It always does
How many times have I heard you call for me in the night?
One hundred?
One thousand?
Yet here I am
Surprised once again to be interrupted from my dreams
The amber light from the hallway highlights your cheek
I am drawn to it
Like a moth to a flame
And here we are cheek to cheek again
I slowly inhale
That sweet smell of your skin is like a drug to me
The stale milk trapped in the folds of your chin
It is your perfume
I still wonder how I can bottle it up
Your sucking begins
Vibrant and strong
Click, gulp, click, gulp, click, gulp
The metronome of your insatiable hunger never ceases to astonish me
And in this moment I am torn
Between wanting this vignette of your babyhood to last forever
And simultaneously wishing us back to sleep
For slumber is the great villain of our time together
Sleep, dear one.
We need an intermission
This is an illusion
Etched in my mind
From which I shall someday rise.

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