I know there is a significant influx of indecision in people my age over this life decision right now.

(First off I just want to once again proclaim how grateful I am to be alive at a time in history where I even have a choice at all)

I had my first child when I was 26 years old. I am now 31.

It was never something I wrestled with. I knew my soul purpose lay in raising humans. I’ve known that to be my true self since I was a child.

I embarked on this life knowing it would be hard, but never realizing before living it how hard it would Actually be (of course).

WE AREN’T MEANT TO KNOW.

That’s the point.

Life isn’t about safety, predictability, or comfort.

This is what frustrates me most- that anyone would expect it to be otherwise.

Life isn’t even about happiness. It’s about growth. And growth thrives in the unknown.

-> I do not say any of this feeling that to be a parent is the ONLY way to grow. But I am saying that you must have something or someone who challenges you to be a better person. That could be a parent, friend, or partner, not just a child. We need people to hold up mirrors for us. We need to purposefully choose the difficult path. We need to push ourselves knowing that the person we will become on the other side will be a better human for this fragile world.

My dear friend,
I would ask you to take this time to sit deeply with the your decision of parenthood.
Children are the ultimate sacrifice of the ego.
I do not have children for me, and in fact I have them at great sacrifice to myself.
But I do believe that my sacrifice is worth it. I pour every resource I have, the things that are most precious to me- my marriage, my relationships with everyone I love, my career and identity- in pursuit of the vocation of parenthood.
This is what I would say to you, or anyone considering this question of whether or not to become a parent:

If you do not wish to grow, and change wholly, do not become a parent.

If you do not wish to be an active member of the progression of society through the conscious rearing of the next generation, do not become a parent.

If you do not wish to embark on a journey completely unknown to you, with the only guarantee being equal parts pain and unknowable love, do not become a parent.

This is not an easy world. It never was, and never will be. Humanity will struggle in every way possible, and to create a child is to purposefully bring a soul earth-side at this particular time in history, not knowing how their life will change the great engine of energy that we are all a part of, but to trust that the journey you and they embark on together is worth doing at all.
My thoughts are with you today, and every day. I hope you can feel my deepest hug through this magic glowing screen.
I love you.
-J